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 Welcome to Sexy TIMES!This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved. Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain! Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUESSexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq. Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore] The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism. |
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SEXY OLDER PEOPLE
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Posted:Nov 20, 2012 10:26 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2013 5:36 am
15053 Views
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The world's oldest , it is claimed, is 82 year old Chiu, nicknamed Grandma.
Working in Taiwan, she charges ten to twenty times less than other local prostitutes.
Have you seen or heard your parents (or even your grandparents) having sex?
Are you comfortable with thoughts of your parents having sex?
Do you make great efforts to disguise from your that you have sex?
Inside are a few pictures of older people enjoying sex!
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5
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WEE FISH!
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Posted:Nov 19, 2012 1:52 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2012 12:21 pm
14906 Views
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In April 2007, a Slovenian man, Martin Strel, became the first person to swim the full length of the Amazon river.
As well as hostile natives, pirates, anaconda snakes. malaria and piranha fish, candiru fish were also a danger to Martin Strel’s epic swim.
It is claimed that these small fish, also called vampire fish, can and do swim up a human’s urethra. Yes, these fish, it is widely believed, can swim up a man’s penis and a woman’s vagina!
In 1829, the German biologist, C F P von Martius, posted the first published report of candiru fish, attracted by the smell of urine, attacking humans. Though he never witnessed fish swimming up someone’s urethra to feed on wee, Amazonian natives told him of these stories, including that natives would tie a ligature around their penis while going into the river to prevent such attacks.
In his 1959 novel, Naked Lunch, William S Burroughs described the candiru fish as "a small eel-like fish or worm about one-quarter inch through and two inches long patronizing certain rivers of ill repute in the Greater Amazon Basin, will dart up your prick or your asshole or a woman's cunt faute de mieux, and hold himself there by sharp spines with precisely what motives is not known since no one has stepped forward to observe the candiru's life-cycle in situ.”
Would you swim in the Amazon?
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HELLO BOYS!
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Posted:Nov 18, 2012 10:58 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2014 3:10 am
16028 Views
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Above is the model, Eva Herzigová, in the 1994 UK advert for the Wonderbra. This 'Hello Boys' advert attracted much controversy and received considerable attention in the UK.
Car accidents were claimed to have been caused by the advert, which distracted male motorists from focusing on the road.
This influential poster featured in an exhibition at London's Victoria and Albert Museum and it was also voted in the top ten posters of the twentieth century.
How many times has undoing a bra halted the throes of passion for you?
Do you have problems getting a bra undone?
Is it just a man-thing?
Does anyone have any tips to pass on?
On wikiHow, there is a step-by-step guide to undoing a bra. Inside are the five key steps!
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BRITS ABROAD!
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Posted:Nov 17, 2012 2:32 am
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2014 7:28 am
14536 Views
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Recent research has found that Britain has invaded all but 22 countries in the world in its long imperial history. There are just under 200 countries in the world.
The only countries that Britain has not invaded are: Andorra, Belarus, Bolivia, Burundi, Central African Republic, Chad, Congo Republic, Guatemala, Ivory Coast, Kyrgyzstan, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Mali, Marshall Islands, Monaco, Mongolia, Paraguay, Sao Tome and Principe, Sweden, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, and Vatican City.
On finding that Britain has invaded 90 per cent of the world’s countries, Richard Laycock, the author of the book, All the Countries We’ve Ever Invaded: And the Few We Never Got Round To, said: “I was absolutely staggered when I reached the total.... Other countries could write similar books – but they would be much shorter, although the Americans had a later start and have been working hard on it in the twentieth century.”
Are you surprised?
We were surprised that the British have not invaded Sweden?
Edwin Starr sang the classic line, “War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothin'!”
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MASTURBATE-A-THON
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Posted:Nov 16, 2012 8:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2014 3:27 am
15137 Views
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At the 2009 World Masturbate-a-thon, the Japanese man Masanobu Sato set the world record for the longest masturbation session with 10 hours of wanking, beating his previous world record!
Woody Allen said, “Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”
Sex Dating's Masturbation is the one of the most popular groups on the site. the group has over 111,000 members, mainly men, making well over 320,000 posts.
Why is the Masturbation group so popular?
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DOMINATION AND SUBMISSION
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Posted:Nov 15, 2012 10:32 am
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2012 12:20 pm
15350 Views
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Domination/submission sex is increasingly popular. It is often called D&s, Ds or D/s sex.
According to Suzi Godson, The Times' sex counsellor, about 10 per cent of people engage in bondage and domination activities. Men dominate far more than women. For many men, being dominated threatens their masculinity. And for some men, being dominated is a form of domination - men may pretend to be submissive but in fact they are being dominant in expecting the woman to fulfil their sexual fantasies without making any effort.
Do you like domination/submission sex?
If so, do you like being dominant or being dominated?
What is it that you like about domination and submission?
We often have domination/submission sex. We once spent a whole weekend together at a cottage equipped for BDSM; a weekend was not long enough!
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4
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BEST EVER JOKE
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Posted:Nov 14, 2012 11:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2022 7:40 am
14300 Views
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This is our best joke:
A man goes into a doctor's surgery with two sticks of celery up his nostrils and a carrot up his two ear holes.
He says, "Doctor, I'm not feeling very well."
The doctor replied, "I'm not surprised, you're not eating properly."
What is your one best ever joke?
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THE WARTENBERG!
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Posted:Nov 14, 2012 12:06 am
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2022 4:04 am
14635 Views
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Sometimes known as a neurowheel or pinwheel, the Wartenberg Wheel is a medical device used to test for neurological sensitivity. It was invented by Robert Wartenberg to be used on patients to observe their nerve reactions.
Because of hygiene reasons, the Wartenberg Wheel is not used much in neurology. But, the Wartenberg Wheel is popular as a sex toy, especially by those who like BDSM.
Here is the Wartenberg Wheel:
Have you Wartenberged someone?
Have you been Wartenberged?
Would you like to be Wartenberged?
Inside are a few more pictures of Wartenberg sex!
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4
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LIAR LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE
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Posted:Nov 12, 2012 12:12 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2013 5:58 am
15095 Views
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On January 26 1998, President Clinton, standing with his wife, spoke at a White House press conference, and issued a forceful denial of sex with Monica Lewinsky:
“But I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you!”
Was this a lie?
Have you ever lied for sex? We have!
Dan Ariely, Professor of Behavioural Economics at Duke University in the US, claimed that only 1 per cent of people are honest. In his recently published book, The (Honest) Truth about Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone, he revealed results of his many experiments where he found "almost everyone will lie and cheat when they can".
In an article in the journal, Civilization, a researcher has found that one in five conversations lasting ten minutes or more will involve a lie; if one of the parties goes to college or university it will be one in three.
Have you ever lied in a relationship?
Is lying such a bad thing in relationships?
What would happen if we told the truth as we saw it all the time?
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ROYAL FAMILY SCANDAL EXPOSED!
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Posted:Nov 10, 2012 7:36 am
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2017 6:25 am
16870 Views
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Sexy TIMES EXCLUSIVE!
The Sexy TIMES can reveal that nearly everyone in the Royal Family is a swinger. They are members of the swinging site, Sex Dating.
We can exclusively reveal that there has been a long tradition of royal swinging going back to alfredthegreat, Ethelred the unready, KingCanute, kingharold, richard1, Henryv, VictoriaQueen and her husband princeAlbert, and KingEdwardVII.
We can also reveal that the real reason why Henry VIII had his wife, Anne boleyn, beheaded was because of her swinging activities.
During the Second World War, both KingGeorgeVI and his wife, QueenMother were swinging while their country was at war. Their swinging activities were edited out of the film, The King’s Speech, in an act of official censorship.
More important, we can reveal that all members of the Royal family alive today, with the honorable exception of Princess Anne, are members of Sex Dating. Below is the list of confirmed swingers:
QueenElizabeth
dukeofedinburgh
princessmargaret – both her divorced husband snowdon and former lover petetownsend were also swingers
PrinceCharles
camillasex
princessdiana – she met dodifayed, JamesHewitt and Will carling on Sex Dating
PrinceWilliam
KateMiddleton - not updated her marital status yet
princeharry - he'll be pleased that Kate's sister pippa also swings
The Princess Royal's husband ViceAdmiral, her ex-husband markphillips, her PeterPhillips, her "extremely sexual" zaraphillips and her -in-law rugbyplayer also swing
AndrewPrince – his ex-wife sarahferguson, plus two daughters beatrice and Eugenie, also swing
princeedward – his wife sophie also swings; surprisingly his two jamesandlouise swing together as a brother/sister couple
The Royal Family, when they meet at Balmoral for Christmas, have also formed the royalfamily to play together in a group orgy.
Sex Dating clearly have the royal seal of approval.
This news will clearly lead to demands for a republic in our country, now rocked by this devastating news.
Should the United Kingdom become a republic?
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6
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THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER
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Posted:Nov 9, 2012 11:57 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2015 8:06 am
16269 Views
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In the film, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, the wife forces her husband, the thief, to eat her lover’s body prepared by the cook. It is a brilliant film, starring Helen Mirren, Michael Gambon and Tim Roth.
What follows is a more gruesome real-life version of this film!
"I have always considered myself to be asexual and without gender", the Japanese artist Mao Sugiyama told reporters, "so earlier this year I arranged for my penis and testicles to be surgically removed."
Initially he was going to eat his genitalia himself but then decided to offer them to others to eat. Several diners paid 20,000 yen each to eat his genitalia at a dinner party held on 13 May this year.
The x-gender artist arranged for a doctor to certify his surgically removed genitalia free from infections, for a chef to prepare the food, and for diners to sign a waiver indemnifying him from prosecution.
The police were informed of this dinner party but were unable to do anything as cannibalism is not illegal in Japan.
Since the dinner party, people have asked him when the next dinner party is taking place, but the artist told reporters, "I have no plans for the next time, because I only had one set of genitals."
What did his genitalia taste like?
Would you have paid to eat his genitalia?
If starving to death, would you turn down a meal of cooked genitalia?
Inside are more details and pictures (sorry standard members!) on Mao Sugiyama’s feast.
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11
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PORN TRIVIA
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Posted:Nov 9, 2012 12:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2022 7:30 am
15466 Views
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88 per cent of all home-made sex films that are uploaded to the internet end up on porn websites.
Gail Dines, in her 2010 book, Pornland, claims that one in four clicks on the internet is porn-related, that there are 4.2 million porn websites with 420 million pages of porn, that there are 68 million search engine requests for porn every day, and that there are over 13,000 porn films released every year.
10 per cent of US male porn users develop compulsive behaviours.
The average time spent on a porn site is 6 minutes 29 seconds.
Studies of the clergy have found that over a half have accessed porn.
97 per cent of all searches for free porn are made by men.
At the University of Montreal, Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse tried to research the effects of first-time porn exposure on young men but he was unable to find a single participant who had not already watched porn!
The porn industry is one of the very few industries where women earn much more than men.
More than 70 per cent of men used porn in 2006.
In a recent Los Angeles County referendum, the majority voted in favour of requiring male porn actors to wear condoms while on set. The Hollywood porn industry has threatened to relocate to neighbouring counties if enforced.
Do you like reading or watching porn?
If so, what type of porn do you like?
Inside is Marge Simpson as a Playboy bunny!
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To link to this blog (spunkycumfun) use [blog spunkycumfun] in your messages.
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